But my absolute favorite is the caption at the bottom: Apple Jacks '94. NC (vo): And then they all end with the kids taking a picture together. (The commercial ends with the kids posing for a photo, which is shown with a piece of writing that says "Apple Jacks 94".) Male Teen: (announcing as the cereal is presented) Kellogg's Apple Jacks cereal is part of this complete breakfast. Grail Knight: You must choose.but choose wisely. (As the boys think of an answer, we then cut to a scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Girl 2: (approaching the boys) You're eating Apple Jacks? Shouldn't it taste like apples?īoy: Actually, that's not why it tastes so good. Voice (Girl 1): Not the Apple Jacks Test. We'll see if he's cool by subjecting him to the Apple Jacks Test. NC: (as Girl 2, in the manner of an evil schemer) Yes. Girl 1: (commenting to another girl about a male teen eating the cereal) Look, it's Jeff Armstrong. Why the hell doesn't it taste like apples? It's like if Cocoa Puffs tasted like Oat Bran. You remember these commercials, right? It always starts off with a group of kids eating this cereal, and some snooty know-it-all always asks why they like eating it if it doesn't taste like apples, which is a good point. A group of male teenagers are at a high school eating the cereal, while several girls look at them.) (TV static transition to: Apple Jacks commercial. It's just going to be commercials, commercials, commercials. NC: I'm not gonna go in any order or tie them together with any theme. (The title "After These Messages." is shown.)
Three Clay Singers: After these messages.Ĭlay Fire Hydrant: (sings) After these messages.Ĭlay Cowboy: (sings) After these messages.Ĭlay Dog: (sings) After these messages. (We then see a compilation of ABC claymation "After These Messages" bumpers.) This is a segment I like to call "After These Messages." Yeah, this is a tribute to all the plastic, sugar-coated nonsense that we loved growing up. I'm gonna take this whole episode, I'm just gonna watch commercials.
NC: How could such cunning manipulation go unappreciated? You know what? Fuck it. Every time you watched them, you felt like you were making a deal with them: You buy their products, and they, in return, deteriorate your intelligence and physical health. They got me excited for all the things I pestered my parents over until their ears gushed with blood. NC (vo): I mean, I loved commercials growing up.
#DOODLE MONSTER GROSS OUT COMMERCIAL TV#
Maybe I need to take a break from nostalgic movies and nostalgic TV shows and take a look at the stuff in between. NC: I could actually watch these ads all day. Something about them strangely gives me comfort. It's like they're in their own little world, a world that wants to be nice to you but scam you at the exact same time. What is it about them that draws me to them? They're so conniving, and yet so inviting. (Footage from various commercials plays.) NC: God, is this the only thing to bring me pleasure? Just pure, pathetic nostalgia? I'm a wreck! (holds his head)ĭino-Rob: (coming in) Aw. One of the Ninja Turtles: Fresh from the sewers to you! I remember when the line "Fresh from the Sewer" actually sounded appetizing. NC (vo): Oh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pies. (Footage from a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pies commercial plays.)Īll four Ninja Turtles: We're heroes in a half-shell, we're baking a surprise! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pies! Slaughter! (sadly munches on some potato chips)
You represent a simpler time when your last name could also represent illegal war crimes, or when your biggest problem was NOT collecting the latest action set. (We start seeing various commercials that we watched during our childhoods.) (stuffs his face with a cookie) Well, ever since last week, when the comments were made by the director of My Pet Monster, I've been doing a little thinking, asking myself some questions, like.what the fuck am I doing with my life? Is this really what I wanna be? This pathetic loser? So, I do what I always do when I get really depressed. (We find our friend, the Critic, on his recliner wearing a white shirt that says "I O Donuts" (the O being a doughnut) with various food items (including a bag of Tostito chips and a box of Zebra Cakes) piled on top of him.
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